Stress

The snow started falling
to keep up with the temperatures
That went from 70 to zero

A drop into freezing
From sunshine dazed glory
Over night without warning

These knots in my neck
Slid down along my back
Cramped and in pain
Its chronic inflammation

What do I carry?
What all am I bearing?
I thought I had better knowledge of balance

Yoga repose
I can’t even go
No time to reflect
I can’t get a grasp on my head

Breathe in breathe out
Just a moment of present
Thoughts light a match and run off with my head

The effort of controlling
This heedless abounding
Is effort I simply can no longer afford

The list gets longer without any checks
What am I doing that’s running me over?

Words all day long
No end in sight
Questions need answers
Hold on, just sit tight

There used to be one
Alone in the dark
Time etched away for the list to get short

Growing to fast
Five left to one
Plus lunch and more lists

Wait what was I doing?
What is it that comes next?
I’m out of time
Multitasking is a lie

Running home in the dark
To hibernate from the world
No questions unfolding
No one around for an ask

All the people I love
Extended just too far beyond
Reach out I cannot
I’m surviving being buried

Is it winter and darkness?
Too much responsibility?
To much running with my eyes closed?

Not enough yes left for me
Out of words
Out of time
Out of steam
Out of fun

No dancing, no singing
I don’t even care
No giddy, no laughing
I’m under repair

These knots tell a story
I already know

I’m not protecting my boundaries
To keep myself sane
To much of one
Without all the other

Vacation is calling
I need to let go
Not just for an hour
Laying down on the floor

Really and truly reset my focus
Call into balance
Work life and myself

I need to remember what it feels like to drop
To find contentment and joy
To sing my own song

To fall asleep when I want to
To be present in a moment
To feel like dancing
And have energy for the things called fun

To be myself again
A lighter version
Who smiles inside
Instead of frowning

The inner bubble of joy
The space to be social from overflow
Instead of from a place of depletion

The line of burnout looming too close
A motto pressing
I’ve already learned I can’t do it all

But when do I write
When do I feel
When do I have things left over for myself

Vacation
You are intentioned and purposed
A focus, a motto yelling out loud

Time to run away
Self care first on my list
Time to press pause
catch my breath
Release and let go

Doing nothing perhaps is all I need
To find a way to come back to myself
The girl who smiles from the inside